TEENAGE AGAIN!!

Who said teenage come only once, I think age changes but there is always a phase where you feel insecure and lost. Really LOST!

And there is always a time when something is new. Just like teenage days new feelings of love, fear and many mixed emotions. At 30 I feel so insecure and scared and frustrated that I feel teenage days were better.

I thought, turning 30 would be a different experience. I guessed, sudden flow of wisdom will clutter my head and maturity will naturally reflect on my action. But in vain I thought this, nothing changed!! except for the fact that I now know I don't belong to that 20's row. A decade has past since I was in collage and I now belong to the categories of uncle-aunties!!I am still unmarried and trying to grab the gal inside me!

All this while I was crying for loosing my teens and then I realized I am in my 20's and now in the categories of aunties. Few years ago all my friends were posting their marriage pics on Facebook making me utterly buttery jealous and now they are celebrating their kids 1.. 2 ..3rd birthdays.... I have given up. I do not get jealous  anymore!!

Now, I am a lady or may be trying to be one. My short stature does not allow me to look lady like at all. So its quite depressing. 

To top it all, two strands of white hair mock me. They shine like snowflakes and the mirror smirk. 

And I own nothing!! I always thought, with age we have possessions. But now I have started to realize, we have to plan and work on it. I have no savings!! No connections, no future and not even a wealthy spouse!

So, I have wasted my 20's very well. 



P.S. - Even tough it sounds very complaining, turning 30 is not that bad. In fact it is no different at all. Yet I am wiser and grown up and living life in my own terms! And greatest achievement being, I have still hold on to that teenage girl that I once used to be!!